- This is just a childish journey. It has nothing to do with anything real.
- All the glued stuff are just fabricated and from imagination .If anyone spots any resemblances, just seal your mouth and cooperate please.
Location: CUSAT hostel toilet Kerala,India: (Time 11 pm Friday):
A Dutch angle and A mid shot scene – Our hero’s Introduction.
“Oh come on… Tell me my sunshine.. .See I am not gonna discuss this with any one.” .The conversation that followed was even more raunchy than the normal toilet smell. So lets peep into the next room…Pindrop silence…. The room was engulfed in silence even though it was occupied by 8 engineering students..!! This category of rooms are silent only in 2 situations:
1: While sleeping (snooze and sleep-talks are exceptional).
2: While fixing drinks.
And obviously by the day and time the silence here can be attributed to the latter cause.
“Hello Mr. Toilet-phoner come fast.. It’s ready”..
My Northie friend roared… I dashed to the room and grabbed my beer bottle…. If u want to see intense and real love from your friend then u should drink with him (cosmic truth). Boozing times are revelation moments too. If there are lovers they are the ones to be hunted first And as usual I was the victim. 3 things prompted me to reveal the secrets which I had managed to scrape a few seconds before from my toilet conversation with my lover (Maybe she does but I don’t love her, but others call us lovers) I shooted it out embellishing and exaggerating the facts (even though it was cheap).. Actually that was what my pals wanted too… I said it because of 3 reasons.
- Inevitable Peer pressure.
- Intoxication at the zenith.
- And the more obvious reason is I just didn’t love her.
I feel so sleepy so the curtains drop on the hostel scene.
My character Detailing.
.”I am part of the so called new generation wave and we do believe only in flirting and showing off . There is no room here for sincere love stories of melodramatic emotions in our life. Come on.. Girls love and all is just drama” (I HATE LOVE STORIES)… I often used these words those days…. .Everyone knew the nature of my relationship with her (I am not unveiling her name, like Shakespeare said “What is in a name anyway?”)… And everybody but her knew that one reality too…I was not really into that relationship…. I wouldn’t describe her with the usual eyes, hair, body stature and physical aspects jargon, but she was “SENSIBLE and SENSITIVE” (And I think that is all that a girl ought to be) But everybody is of the opinion that she loves me with all her heart (Who cares???) I often rejected her calls, I never used to hear her words, I would tease her in front of my pals, shared her secrets recklessly (it was a hidden-trick too, to avoid her), I screened her messages… But why did she still???… There are no answers to certain questions (and let it stay in that list).. So it was my fruity time… A lover to love and respect from friends…. Muhaaaaa(Sound of pride!!!)
Location: Cusat Sports day: (time: 10am:)
“Who the holy F is spraying water on my face?” I murmured. I opened my eyes gently and with so much strain.The irritating noise made by the people around me was driving me mad .I calmly realized the dark scene.
“Are u okay Jithu?”
“Do you want to drink beer bro ?”
“You are not dead yet you rascal” (Of course it’s my loyal friend, I confirmed ).
.”Oh yeah ,I am okay ” I tried to pull my self up and said.
“You fell down unconscious during the 100m race you horse”.
“Dude what a pathetic capacity you have!!”
Those harsh comments conjured space for a comical scene , but it definitely was not funny for me. I looked around with my half opened eyes and found smiling ,haughty and sympathetic damn faces .But suddenly my sight stuck on a long beautiful and cute face, which obviously belonged to “you-know-who-that-is”. It was pale, reddish and with tear stricken eyes. Her cheeks bones were dancing due to the emotional hub-up. I could spot the pain and anxiety in her eyes. Some one hushed inside my heart with a bang .”Aswajith look at that, she is crying for you. The very girl you avoid most often is feeling sympathy for you . She is anxious and worried about the same guy who has never considered her even a bit. I felt ashamed of myself and started repenting a little. Later she helped me in on her shoulder and supported me all the way to the second year mechanical class room along with my friend Bijesh..
i went to Random thoughts walking with her.
“Oh god!! Whats happening to senses??? I could only see her, I could only hear her and I can only smell her. Is this revelation or salvation? I kept my eyeballs locked on her . It felt like the entire scene was being played in slow motion. She slowly patted my hair with the care and attention I had only felt with my very mom. With her care,her love and affection I felt like I was being lifted into another world. Once again someone raised a voice from my heart gently “Aswajith now it’s high time to tell her “Ya tebya lublu ” (Russian way of expressing love ,because she looked exactly like a Russian).I prepared myself to raise my tongue and I could sense my heart beat in its peak..
“Jithu, I’m going to the hostel. See you tomorrow”
“You-know-who-that-is” I want to say something”, I said gently. Her face lighted up.
“Yeah go on.. Say”…
“No i will tell you tomorrow”
“Hello what happened to your boy? What drama is he doing tomorrow???”Pa asked mom.
“Drama?? On sports day? No idea!!” she replied..
“He is talking to himself doing strange filmy gestures in the backdrop of some trash slow songs. Is he mad?”
“I don’t know.” she turned her eyes to the idiot box. Like all unfortunate hubbies he too joined the TV serial without interest.
What in the world is happening to me??? I checked my mobile. I looked at my screened messages list. I removed her number from there. I saw her messages which I had blocked using my mobile’s feature. I used my full bed. I tried strange postures… No way.. God help me sleep… I practiced my words which I would say tomorrow, talked in front of the mirror for the umpteenth number of time. How will I tell her?? At last somehow I fell asleep.
D-DAY: I found my pa and ma freeze by the sight of me.. .Their eyes bounced from me to the clock and again back to me between stipulated intervals….
“Oh boy this is the first time in your….what happened to you man???” The time is only 6am…. I better take a snap now. Most probably it will never happen again (I don’t know why all Dads refuse to show their love even if they do have that in abundance)
“Hello you are my dad, not a reality show judge to cast this strange look and let loose sarcastic comments.”
Only lovers know that feeling. It’s wonderful. I took 2 hours to do all make up.. I simply moved away with them staring behind me wonder-struck. I marched to college and placed myself near the first year class corridor wall.. I waited for her….
“Jithu what a surprise!!! Why, you are so early.. And you look nice too today” (When we are happy it reflects on our face obviously).. Her comment made a curve on my lips…..
“I want to talk to you personally… Come to the backside of the building around 2pm”…..
But I got there around 1pm and waited 4 her instead. (First time I’m waiting for her)… Thank God all my friends are at the hostel for the usual alcoholic rounds…
“Why are you so nervous today?? It’s 3pm already and we’ve been here for the last 1h. But I am so happy to get you here without your friends.. I hate them” This is love-block… I know that… Hmmmm okey… I said to myself.. Okey I wanted to tell you something… Hmm… I laughed… I*……..; my tongue slipped when I saw some of my pals coming close to us…. All of them were fully charged… Her face became pale and she looked at me for mercy.
“Yo!! ***k*r you’re here eh????
“Eda mind your words she is here”
Ha ha…”This crap… Oh I’m sorry… You may be in your usual discussion about the physical changes of her sensitive parts…. Record everything precisely and vomit at night as you always do”….
Oh God! I am done for. If I could avail the use of a time machine and fast forward my life at least 1 day to escape a weird situation then this sure would have been the appropriate moment. I waited silently with my jaws dropped to hear from her.. She stood up and all the while the bloody silence kept gnawing the terse and tense ambiance surrounding us .Her lips were quivering along with cheek bones. She widened her eyes like Shobhana in Manichithrathazhu !! Her facial muscles twitched and her words stopped short in her mouth…”Aswa u….” Drops of tears oozed out from the corners of her eyes and streaked down across her face tracing the same path over and over again. To me it seemed like blood.”Aswa I loved u more than my parents, more than my life.. My friends often warned me but…… She struggled to breath but I loved u (I could see her mind in her face), Even when you neglected me often with your words and deeds, I waited 4 your change.. .But I wont take this. You have looked down on me mentally and physically. You simply unveiled prime and private matter ,which i shared with u, only u, the most valuable secret of a girl , to your pals, like it was nothing, like it was something funny…… You treated me like crap ” She somehow managed to finish her words…. I HATE U BASTARD….. She roared… She burst out into tears…”How dare you???”.. “You really are going to pay for this”.. I HATE YOU… I HATE YOU… I HATE YOU.. She unbuttoned the last few of my buttons and shook me entirely with her shivering hands…. I couldn’t make out what was happening around me… I became motionless…
But I sensed my eyes becoming wet. Some of her friends dragged her away. But her words kept banging me like repeated television ads. I walked away embarrassed and more in pain… Is this pain love??? Whatever the modern era we live in, whatever medical development we claim, there are no cure 4 some pain…. And I was then in such pain…. She was right.. I just had no words to say.. I was sure that I couldn’t face her anymore… I don’t even know how I completed those odd remaining days in college… After completing my studies even now I send her texts, and make calls(even though she changed her number)… And each time I hope to get something different from “This number is not exist” and “Message can’t be delivered”……..
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT MISTAKE WOULD MAKE ME PAY LIKE THIS…
BUT MAYBE AFTER ALL IT’S AN ALERT FROM GOD….
Morel of the story:
- DON’T even dare to prank with love.
- Never share your lady secrets with any one at any cost.